


Cracks in the Infrastructure

by Cloevoyant



Series: Fake AH Crew Headcanons [3]
Category: Fake AH crew - Fandom, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Gen, Immortality, Trigger warning: drugs, also there are mentions of the b-team but they don't really play that big of parts, immortal au, immortality is a bitch okay, this is definitely going to be sad and I'm not even sorry, trigger warning: suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-06-26 16:00:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15666528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloevoyant/pseuds/Cloevoyant
Summary: Even the mighty and immortal fall eventually. And their falls are usually caused by cracks in their infrastructure.





	Cracks in the Infrastructure

**Beginning Note:** _I had another idea thanks to[fahcheadcanons](https://fahcheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/176894571343/they-are-immortal-most-of-them-found-out-in) on tumblr, and it got away from me thanks to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LyzHUe9kME). So here we are. Note here instead of in the notes section so I could properly link the post and youtube video._

 

* * *

 

        Ryan hated being there; just sitting and waiting, his scars never fully fading from all the previous times he died, and the fresh scars barely healing as his life force regained strength to return to the Earth plane. The purgatory they all visited as they waited to respawn was like a personal version of Hell; at least, that's how Ryan envisioned his. Suffocating silence and being left alone with his dark thoughts allowed him to seriously loathe whatever powers-that-be decided it was a great idea to make  _anyone_ immortal,  _especially_ him and his crew. Not only that, but they were clearly all  _freshly_ immortal, as none of them have lived longer than their respective birth dates. Ryan really was nearly 38 years old; at least, that's how his body had aged.   
        He hadn't had time to do enough research on that front; does their immortality also mean they don't age beyond a certain time? Geoff's aging hadn't seemed to stop yet, gray beginning to pepper the kingpin's facial hair. Hell, even Ryan was getting grays, and he'd taken to dying his hair as a result. Facial hair was already out of the question; the mask and facepaint he donned so often would've caused terrible ingrown hairs and acne, so he didn't have to worry about gray hair there. Jack, however, seemed to be drinking from the fountain of youth. Ryan couldn't decide if it was her optimism or just being a woman that took care of herself despite knowing she couldn't die. He figured it must've been a combination of the two, since neither he nor Geoff were entirely optimistic, and one of Geoff's deaths was literally caused from liver deterioration from his alcoholism. He'd since given up the drink, but it was a testament to how much the two gents actually cared about themselves. Not to mention Ryan's depression.  
        Ryan was functional, don't get him wrong. But he still hated life, and had a  _very_ long time to think about how much he hated that life. But at one point in his life, he wasn't all that functional. Before he met the Fakes, before Geoff plucked him off the streets when the kingpin noticed his reckless tendencies and recognized them in himself, Ryan had attempted suicide. That was how he'd found out he was immortal, and that moment is forever seared in his memory; he swore to never tell anyone about it. None of his new makeshift family had to know about his past, they all knew what it was like to wake up in a pool of their own blood, wounds healed and still tender from whatever healing magic kept them alive.   
        Their immortality was such a mystery to Ryan. Non-fatal wounds healed faster in them than they did mortals. Fatal wounds took a couple hours to close while their spirit took the time to recover in whatever hellish purgatory they each had. And bullets that hadn't been extracted from the body in some way mysteriously disappeared. And being shot in the head was no exception, even if it took longer to heal and wake up from. Usually if one of their own got shot in the head and were down, they did their damnedest to make sure the body got out so they could return safely. Ryan didn't know what happened to them if the body was fully destroyed; would they find a new body? Or were they not really immortal, and they got stuck in that limbo, waiting for a new vessel to hold the immortal spirit of the criminal? Was what they were doing some fucked up form of reincarnation? Or was there something more to it?  
        Despite still being a spirit, Ryan felt his head pound as he thought, gritting his teeth in anger and frustration as he waited for his body to be ready for him to return. He'd died of blood loss this time, his body unable to support his spirit as it tried to recover and replenish the blood he lost. He was also sure he had some form of concussion, evidence being the headache he was still sporting in his purgatory, but that should be gone when he woke in his body. At least, he hoped. He hated not knowing anything about their situation, and as much as Jeremy and Geoff had told him not to worry about it, to enjoy the gift, he just couldn't.  
        Knowledge and experiments were what kept Ryan going. They helped his depression, helped him remember that the immortality wasn't necessarily a curse. Gaining knew information and experience gave him pleasure. It was something he hadn't thought about when he was a teenager, and it's what made being unable to die bearable. But not knowing what caused his inability to die began to consume him; he'd lived over 20 years longer than he'd intended to, all because he literally couldn't stay dead, and it drove him nuts not knowing why. At that point, he just wanted to know so he could understand, not so he could undo it and die like he'd originally planned. The only other person that seemed to agree with him in wanting to understand why was Gavin; his completely-off-the-wall questions usually helped Ryan think of new things to look into, things that he wouldn't have previously thought of to be connected to their immortality. Most of the time, those new things turned into dead ends, but occasionally he'd find out something new; he figured out it had to be magic that kept them coming back because Gavin asked, "well what kind of science deals with an actual afterlife anyway?" And later found out that magic had to further be some form of science because even magic worked with chemicals, reactions, and equations. Ryan himself couldn't perform any magic of any kind, but that didn't mean he wasn't trying; every mortal could perform, there wasn't a special quality in anyone's physiology that allowed them more access to the magic than others could attain. That being said, he still hadn't actually met any magic users, so maybe he was wrong; he hated not knowing!  
        He glanced up from his knees when he felt the pull; his body was ready for him to return, it seemed. Sighing, he stood and walked.  
        And walked.  
        And walked.  
        Until finally his vision went from faint purple to entirely black as he transitioned back to his body, pain the first thing he felt. Sure enough, the headache he was battling while in purgatory had followed him. Or maybe it never went away, he had no idea. Rolling his head slightly, he hissed in pain as the wound in his shoulder flared; his body hadn't even fully healed before it called him back this time. The cut in his neck from the bullet that had killed him was gone, he could feel that much, but the rest of his wounds were still painful, even if they were closed up and no longer bleeding. At least the headache was just that, and it hadn't stayed the concussion he was sure he'd had.   
        "Ryan? You back with us buddy?" Geoff's voice came from somewhere on Ryan's right, and he only groaned in response, not wanting to open his eyes yet.   
        "That'd be a yes, Geoff," Michael retorted, sounding like he was somewhere by Ryan's feet.   
        Blinking a few times, Ryan glanced around to take in his surroundings; the back of an ambulance? The vehicle wasn't moving, and Ryan wasn't strapped down to the gurney, but it still made him uneasy. Michael was standing with his back to the closed doors of the cab, and Geoff was holding a bloody cloth. He swallowed a few times before opening his mouth to speak.  
        "What the hell happened?"  
        "Your wounds weren't closing as fast as they should've when you died, so we had Jack steal an ambulance so we could use the medical supplies to help your body heal. You'd hit the ground pretty hard, and lost a lot of blood very quickly, so we needed to make sure you wouldn't keep losing the blood your body recreated while it tried to heal. It....it was like....well, it was like your body couldn't decide what to heal first and couldn't heal it all at once anymore," Michael explained, and Ryan looked at Geoff for confirmation.   
        "Speaking from experience, it happens with age. It's why you don't see me and Jack in the field much anymore, we don't heal like we used to. And since we don't know what's causing our immortality in the first place, it's not like we can go figure out what the fuck is going on..." Geoff trailed off as he looked down Ryan's body, hand reaching out to fix the loose edge of a bandage across his torso.   
        "So I'm not even healed, and there's nothing we can do about it?"  
        "Well, you'll still heal faster than a normal mortal; any bones that were broken from your fall have healed, and you're no longer bleeding, you'll just be in pain."  
        "Oh, there's that at least," Ryan seethed out, gritting his teeth as he kept himself from glaring at his leader. "Where's Gavin?" He asked as he sat up, hissing as pain shot through his left shoulder and right leg, but not caring enough to look down.   
        "Why?" Michael asked as he stepped aside and opened the door to the ambulance.  
        "Because he seems to be the only one that gives a fuck about finding out about our situation," Ryan gritted out as he limped out of the ambulance and pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, finding Gavin's contact and hovering the call button. Looking around, he realized they were in Michael's extra garage, the one Alfredo was originally employed at before they hired him full time with the crew. Vaguely, he remembered the garage was half the city away from where they'd been fighting some motorcycle crew- what was their name? Something that allowed their nickname to be a play on the band AC/DC but Ryan didn't care enough to try and remember right then.   
        "Gavin and Jeremy took off in the opposite direction to keep the Directs busy," Michael explained as he and Geoff climbed out of the cab after him. Motorcycle Direct Crew, that was what they were called, or the MC/DC they dubbed themselves. What a stupid name, Ryan had thought when he first heard it. He thought that again as he looked back down at his phone.  
        "How long ago was that?"  
        "About 6 hours-" Geoff started, but Ryan looked up, anger flaring in his eyes.  
        "Have you heard from either of them?" He cut off his leader, fully glaring at him.  
        "Gavin sent a text to me and Michael about an hour ago saying they were safe and laying low from the cops and that they'd meet us at the penthouse when we were all safe."  
        "I'm not going back to the penthouse," Ryan said as he limped out of the garage and finally called Gavin, relieved when neither Michael nor Geoff followed him.

* * *

 

        Gavin sat on the hood of Ryan's car as he watched the injured man pace in front of him, barely keeping himself from wincing as he watched him limp. Gavin had parked on the coast, hoping the sound of the ocean would be calming to Ryan, but it didn't seem to be helping.  
        "Ryan, you'd heal faster if you-"  
        "You don't know that, Gavin," he cut him off, not even looking at him as he continued to pace in front of the car. The lad grimaced as he thought of the sand potentially getting into Ryan's wounds.  
        "Just because we're immortal and come back whenever we die doesn't mean we  _heal_ differently. Our physiology isn't any different than a regular mortal's, remember? You've literally looked at all of our blood, all of our skin, and our DNA, and you couldn't find anything different between those of us that are immortal and those of us that aren't."  
        Ryan paused mid step, finally looking at Gavin as his breathing quickened.  
        "So what if that means everyone has the potential to be immortal?"  
        "Ryan, I thought that was established already-"  
        "No no, I mean what if we literally hold the key to everlasting life, and we just don't know how to access it?"  
        "How does that relate to what I said?"  
        "There's no difference between us and some random Joe on the street, right? If we figured out what makes us immortal, we could make him immortal too, right?"  
        "Okay, but we don't know if what we have is everlasting. Remember, you, Geoff, and Jack are all still aging, to the point where it's beginning to effect your healing."  
        Gavin felt like he was punched in the gut as he watched the light drain from Ryan's blue eyes. The crystal clarity that they gain when he thinks he's found a lead was stunning, and it was always sad to see it lose its luster, but Gavin knew he had to be the one to keep Ryan in check this time. The gent was running on fumes, having only recently come back from the dead and was still healing.   
        "Dammit!" He exclaimed, startling Gavin as he slammed his fist on the hood of the car. "What am I missing? The magic? The knowledge? Where do I get those?"  
        Gavin watched as Ryan continued to ramble, a hand in his hair now instead of in a fist on the hood of the car, but he'd stopped pacing.   
        "Ryan-"  
        "What, Gavin?" He cut him off, eyes wild as he looked at the lad.  
        "I think we should go home and rest. You're tired and I'm getting cold," he added as he rubbed his arms, looking down at his lap to break eye contact with him. He heard him sigh, and glanced up as he limped to the passenger side door and opened it. Hopping off the car, Gavin climbed in the drivers side, knowing Ryan's leg was still too injured for him to drive properly. The lad drove them both home, occasionally glancing at Ryan to make sure he was still coping alright with the pain.

* * *

        "Maybe we're just too stubborn to die," Gavin said idly as he and Jeremy helped Ryan clean and redress his wounds in his bedroom. Ryan just scoffed as he leaned back to let Jeremy get a closer look at the bullet wound on his leg. "What? Think about it, Ryan, you know how we are, wouldn't you say we're all pretty damn stubborn?"  
        "Yeah, but I highly doubt that's what's keeping us here," he said, voice low as he gritted his teeth in pain from Jeremy cleaning the ragged flesh on his thigh.   
        "Why do you say that? What proof do you have?" Gavin challenged him, adding the last bit of tape to the bandage on his shoulder.  
        "Because I wouldn't be here if that were true," he said simply, causing both lads to freeze and look at his face.   
        "What do you mean? You're one of the more stubborn ones of us-" Jeremy started, but was cut off.  
        "Tell me how you guys found out you were immortal."  
        "You already know my-" Jeremy tried again, but again, Ryan stopped him.  
        "Just say it, Jer."  
        "I lost a fight. I got shot, the bullet shredded my liver, my stomach was burned from the gun flare, and they just left me to die in an ally. I woke up about an hour later, shirt soaked in blood but skin completely fine and no pain whatsoever. Then you and Geoff spotted me walking down the street with my shirt like that, and offered me a ride. The rest is history," he said, returning to wrapping Ryan's leg. Gavin shifted so he was next to Ryan now, so he could look at both of his friends before speaking.  
        "Cocaine overdose. I couldn't tell you if it was an intentional one or not, but waking up and feeling absolutely fine had me in one helluva spiral for a few months... It took Geoff finding my dead body after another overdose to break me out of the habit. He and Jack were there to stop me from picking up the drug again; funny thing about dying, you don't get sick, and you don't suffer from withdrawal."  
        "So even you know that there's no way in hell stubbornness and tenacity is what's keeping us here, Gavin," Ryan said quietly, eyeing the Brit as he said it. "You didn't give a shit if you lived or died, you just wanted your fix."  
        "Yeah, I suppose you're right," Gavin agreed, looking down at Jeremy's hands as they finished the bandage on Ryan's leg. "Well, what about you? We said ours, now you tell us yours and why it makes you so sure that our stubborn spirits aren't what's keeping us here."  
        "I shot myself," he said simply, staring at the wall to keep from looking at either lad as they looked at him. "I was only 16 and didn't want to deal with the life I had anymore, so I tried to end it. Imagine my chagrin when the effort was wasted." He heard Gavin take in a breath to say something, but he held up his hand to stop him, and continued speaking. "I spent the next 8 or so years researching where I could to try and figure out why I couldn't die. Even showed my parents, and they just called me a freak and kicked me out as soon as they could. I wanted to undo it so I could finally die, stay dead, and find what I figured would be peace. Then you and Geoff found me and, well, now I'm here." He added the last part with a glance at Gavin, barely keeping himself from wincing when he saw the lads eyes were full of sadness for him. "I never tell anyone that because it's not important anymore. Sure, I still struggle with the depression and dark thoughts, but not enough to want to undo whatever it is that keeps us here, not anymore. I just want to understand it, maybe us it to help people. Who the fuck knows, it's just a matter of figuring out whatever the hell it is first, and why it seems to wane with age."  
        "Ryan-" Gavin tried, but he just shook his head.  
        "Don't, Gavin. Leave it alone. Focusing on figuring this out is more important, especially to me." He looked down at Jeremy after he said it, and Jeremy just nodded, eyes hardening in resolve as he stood up.  
        "I'll help where you need, Ryan," he said, clapping his hand on his buddy's uninjured shoulder. Gavin made a noise in agreement as he touched Ryan's arm in reassurance.  
        "Thanks, guys," Ryan said, smiling at the two of them before finally sighing. "Now leave me alone so I can sleep."  
        The two lads chuckled as they left Ryan's room, each heading to their own to unwind from the day and get their own rest.


End file.
